came back from doing PW... hah.. changed our second case study.. abit late... but at least we trying our best to be on the track now... should be no changes le ba...? haha.. i quite like the topic cuz its abit linked to psychology, developmental psychology to be exact... and it is actually a challenge to do this project, and we may or may not come out with a great solution, but it definitely sets people thinking.. the possibilities.. n the future... haha... project on childhood experiences and its impacts... (conserving childhood)

exco dinner ytd night... long time nvr been together like that le... since... february? but it wasnt a full turn-up as i thought it would be... missing hannah, jiayanz, kang, n yanlin...

i like chatting with you guys... cuz i know i can say anything i want, getting back your true opinions... and most of the times, experiences are shared and i learn alot more... i like listening to you guys chat... that makes me think abt myself... haha.. sometimes thinking how small i really am... how insignificant i am.. what im doing now may not lead me to where i wanna go.. think back my past.. did i choose the right path... other times i do not agree to what you guys say... i might say what i think... or i may feel ignorant, but im nvr shy to ask.. haha.. you can laugh at me all u want, but i dont mind with you guys! haha.. i like being with you guys... cuz it is just heartwarming feeling to me...

i dno what the future has in store for all of us.. it is scary just thinking about ur own future... if you want to think of the future of 11 lives together, whether we will stay as how we are currently.. it will be much more scarier... karmen asked if we think we would always have such outings together..? haha.. i answer immediately, we will... as long as you guys reply my messages! haha...

we parted once... we questioned ourselves once.. or at least, i questioned myself... if exco could continue to be as bonded as we were in year 4 when we are in senior high... if we would commit to meeting up with one another and having fun together... if we would still be the best of friend irregardless of what we may do in senior high... well.. things proved that we can...

the next separation comes less than 2 years from now... that will be the real deal... it does not apply to only us.. but generally, the year 5 cohort this year... just thinking about my own path.. im very scared that i will end up with a job which i do not enjoy doing... and for now i dont really know my path yet cuz what i know is really very limited, and the mainstream careers dont really appeal to me... siswo told rachel to major in music... i thought back on myself... that was my passion wasnt it? why did i give up then? if i were studying music for A levels... i could have gone further couldnt i? now i feel so lost about music... neither here nor there... terence asked me why i go learn electone till so high a grade if i not pursuing music... i was at a loss for words then...

im still in touch with music.. but not at a professional and serious level... i want to... but yet.. i have my limitations... haiz...

ha.. erm.. im digressing... yea.. look, if this is what im so uncertain about my future... the future of 11 of us bounded together is like... so much more uncertain.. we dont know who would change... for the good or the worse.. if we were to meet up again... but no matter what i will try my best, and of cuz i know the 10 of you guys as well, will always want to meet up with each of us somehow, n as long as someone initiates a gathering (may not be me..) we will just want to meet up... im quite confident we can...

about what karmen says abt friends that you can call for help if you are in a situation, and you have only a 10cent coin to call someone.. this someone is impt to your life... will always be there for you.. i can be confident enough to say i've found it.. in the 10 of you.. its a tried-and-proven thing for me.. haha.. anyone rmr a 'help' sms i sent to call me cuz i was so sad at a point of time.. n i just needed to talk it out..? i didnt send out to all la.. but those that i sent replied me with a call, such that my phone received more than a call at a time... n as it was more than one call, i couldnt answer all... but you guys didnt stop there.. u called again..

want to say thankyou to all... n ya.. we will continue to be the best of friends.. we no need to be close in distance, but as long as we are together, i hope that we would take down the disguises we might wear to face the world, and just be true to one another... :) that will remind us of how far we have come together, n who we really are if we have lost our way... i think, haha...

other than the 7 of us who turned up ytd... i really missed the other 4... so long nvr speak to kang alrdy... like a proper convo... rmr those long night calls... how u affected me than i affected you..? haha.. the last one i remembered was the night before your elections for EP... since then... didnt really hav the chance... but everytime with you, there is definitely answers.. ha.. n i really wanna know, how are you really doing nowadays? hannah that squid... haha.. long time no see too... still the same cheerful self... why get grounded on exco dinner?! haiz... jiayanz also... miss the cold jokes... n the zi-high you.. lol.. n also yanlin... missed you the most... (not more than yixiang does.. oops!) at beginningof the year still managed to see you around.. n waved hi... recently like less n less... when i received your message that you would be coming.. i was quite happy... that yay, exco finally can reunion... u missed the previous dinner too... ya.. so.. how are you lately? all of us missed you, esp rachel.. she was disappointed taht you couldnt make it too...

i will organise another outing soon... either this month or the next... one that everyone can make it.. really really want to meet up with everyone...

haha.. to end on a happier note...

who is interested to form acappella group??? haha!

why didnt i take the initiative then..?

past two days all busy... plus today... lol...

watched ice age 3 with yixiang, yiwei, jiaying on monday... tuesday had TAND meeting... today had 2 SC-related meetings...

tml meeting up with sam and then PW meeting in afternoon... missing out on volleyball outing... hmmm.. feel guilty not doing work.. so yea.. i chose to give up the outing.. must start on HBL too!

friday i should say is the most crammed up... morning got new exco meeting... then i think got mirabelle gathering for lunch n movie... but i supposed to watch movie with rachel yixiang and jiaying also... then night got exco dinner... which yanlin just sms say she cnt make it... i hope no one else back out... haiz...

so how do i go about it..? well, i have only one chance...

with a third party's knowledge of this...

the truth may be out...

but if i wanna keep it for a longer period of time...

i may just silence him...

lol...

maybe its time to really face my feelings...

hahah.. enjoyed myself today...

yesterday go home that time.. terence said he dont wanna stay home today... so we plan to waste our life together... plan a weird outing.. n we did it today...

met up with terence, liangwei, and how yi (is this how you spell his name?) at tampines mrt.. went for lunch.. (which how yi sneaky off to challenger alrdy... lol.. according to ter he go find girl.. ha! -.-) then we started our 'adeventure'..

we walked frm tampines all the way to eunos...

i learnt the harmonica along the way.. terence brought two.. n he taught me how to play... how to make sure u only blow one hole... haha.. nt bad, got the hang of it aft about 1 hour... played scales.. lol! poor liangwei wasnt prepared for walking long.. he wore slippers...

met up jiaying at eunos mrt... went to mountbatten CC... terence n i joyfully joined the guitar hero competition for fun... cuz only 3 participants at first... then in the end got 6 in total... me, ter, wayne, wenxin, and two others which i dno...

hahah... ter got first.. wayne second.. n me.. third..! lol... my first time playing some more.. -.-

next... four of us went to crash 4D lan... when we arrive at katong.. nicholas and yuesing just left... terence n i joined in... xingqi, derhui, xunlin, zhenzhou were there... wah.. i damn noob.. always kena killed.. n xunlin always there to kill me.. lol! n i shouted my anguish... later i felt quite sick... giddy... change to jiaying play aft about half an hour? then xunlin didnt know change player.. thought why i so firece when she kill me.. haha... well... u know jiaying...

while i took about an hour to regain back my composure with the background of loud music n "wth!! ffff!!! wtf!! etc etc.. #$^$#&" haha..

phew..

end of my randomness day...

well done terence n liangwei...

we conquered the eastern side of singapore... lol...

haha.. terence induced me into thinking alot with a question he asked me...

i answered his question at surface level...

i thought of someone who came into my mind...

i begin to think about my past...

n how i react to such situations...

and then thought about why im like that...

memories of pri school return...

good n bad...

n then i went to think deeper why was i like that in the past...

memories went further back to kindergarten...

lols...

yea.. i think alot...

n after i come back to 'now'...

i thought of how i progressed...

wanna type here...

wanna say it out...

but then again its too long n personal...

aiyah...

reality is telling me im wrong... or maybe, sth is wrong with me...

maths paper was bad... very bad... worse than geog paper...

out of 12 questions, i only completed 3 fully... the first time i went through my paper after i finish, i calculated that i did not attempt 60 marks worth of questions... then i did a 2nd round... did as much as i can... when i hand up, 48 marks were alrdy gone... i only aim for not so terrible a death...

nvr stay around to know how others did... i nvr am interested in discussing papers aft it is done anw... went to find a place which i can feel better.. alone..

not really alone then.. but still managed to hide from the noisy crowds... haiz... its just me that i would walk away from the crowds to be alone... abit bad and antisocial... but i cnt pretend smiling and be happy when im not...

over the phone yixiang told me he did badly... like blurred aft the first 3 qns... thats as bad as me.. -.- yea.. n he vented by playing it out... haa.. hitting things with the purple noodle thingy... if only i have a punching bag... hitting someone.. let that person hit me too... make me get hurt physically.. i might have felt much better then...

studied physics in sc room with rachel, yixiang, n oli... we were quite serious in studying.. with ipod music at background... probably cuz rachel was quite serious in her work.. oli busy with hers... yixiang n i felt the impact of the maths paper... lol...

was feeling sore till now...

but i guess when the paper gets back..

thats when the nightmare might start... haiz

recently have this thinking... what it mean to be an adult... haha... i think it is hardest being a teenager.. its neither here nor there...

today...

econs paper was not bad for me... haha.. managed to attempt all questions... but getting it right is another question... didnt really complete the whole paper properly.. haha... what was bad during the test was that i suffered slight headache.. n feel my temp rise.. tiredness...

had lunch... slacked... went through geog on the whiteboard with amanda, justin, n xingqi.. just throw out points... when paper come.. sian... i failing... haiz... halfway the paper i wanted to give up n sleep... but i continued... aiya.. but was really tired n sleepy... DRQ were okay.. the problem lies with the essays... i didnt unds the key terms in the 16 mark qns!!! no ideas no info no nothing flow frm my mind.. its like... mental block... in the end i wrote what i know best, but also not the best -- singapore as my case study... aiyah... the essays killed me... lets see the results then...

told jiezhi that he will not see me in council anymore... haha.. cuz i will fail my geog... n maybe teachers take me out of council... lol... our invigilators were mr tan n ms aw! 2 sc teachers somemore.. aiyo... 'finished' the paper 10 mins before end.. way before the others... cuz i have nth more to write... every geog test is the same... haiz.. i always finish first... bad thing...

went to SC room at about 4pm.. didnt leave till about 8.45pm? lol..! oli n yixiang were there all the while.. i joined in at 4pm.. we played scrabble later.. then oli left.. yixiang n i one on one.. lol.. played for quite long.. then we left.. but we werent the last to leave school.. we saw nicholas, xunlin, n bram studying in the canteen! wow... they wanted to be the last to leave the school.. ask us to quickly leave first... lol...

went to ananas for dinner.. haha.. i had intention to ask rachel.. but abit too late hor..? about 9pm ler... n quite dark... well.. we ate n talked till 10.40pm before we leave.. oops...

lucky tml no paper.. or issit becuz no paper tml that we so lax and able to stay so late? haha... 2 papers down... lucky me.. others still have 3 - 4 more to go... xD im not going to feel bad frm another test this week... im going to ace maths n physics..!! haha...

okie...

oh, thx xingqi for the keychain frm NY.. haha.. n.. dont mix up elastic and inelastic!! (this morning gave me a shock... he showed me a "" sign and tell me that is ELASTIC.. wha'er heck!! haha...)

gonna stay home whole day tml... maybe? haha.. n mug for maths n physics..!!!

all the best to the bio and computing (derhui) people tml! :)

Day 1 - econs and geog

just started geog today... wish me luck in finishing 12 topics in 2 days... (plus one day to recap)
why did i went to search for the past... how long has it been? who am i trying to fool... myself?

recently the song "perfect" by simple plan hit me... i didnt really listen to the song then.. but now that i hear.. it reminds me of my dad and i...

"hey dad, look at me.. think back and talk to me... did i grow up according to plan?"

i rmr the times i defied my dad... many... the most recent which i will nvr forget is how he want me to study in a school which i didnt want to... in the end i got my way... other times are how i stay stubborn enough to suffer caning from him just to not go for swimming lessons...

but still, glad that im able to help my dad out at times... haha.. n today is one of it..

an experience for me.. a step into the adult world... dealing with real matters... n im in a dilemma when i step into the shoe of the 'victim'... haiz...

my dad and i... same stubborn character... but different personality... like totally.. except for the bad habits which i have similar to his.. haha.. most of what he does i disagree... and he disagrees to what i do, even when i enjoy what im doing... and even when i think im right..

"And do you think I'm wasting my time... doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along..."

as i grow up.. i begin to lose some things.. and earned some others... i tend to think more practically.. ha.. when im young i thought of doing things that i like in the future... i rmr got 3Ms... Mathematician (i love maths and was good at it.. WAS), Magician (i love magic! n i have a whole collection of it..), Musician (i love music.. n i was singing n playing music all the time..)

i realised my passion for the sciences and maths declined... i become bad at it as i progress..
i no longer take out my magic tricks to play.. even though they are still in good condition in my drawer.. but i still enjoy magic... but impractical to do it for a living... haa...
i stopped all music lessons alrdy... no time? haiz...

"And now I try hard to make it... I just want to make you proud..."

i know he puts his pride in me.. but i nvr really take it seriously... that would be putting excess stress on myself.. but well.. i always do my best, n believe that im doing it for myself.. that pushes me further... but i know my father will always have his own expectations for me... i turn a blind eye...

"I'm never gonna be good enough for you... I can't pretend thatI'm alright... And you can't change me.."

yea.. i will nvr be good enough for my father... im just meeting my own expectations.. cnt meet his.. but im fine with it.. haha.. though when i see other kids trying to meet their parents' expectations, i feel like im a bit selfish... but one thing's for sure.. he cant change me.. but will i grow up to be like my father naturally?

haha.. random thought of the day.. =S

nobody likes to be kept in the dark... esp with matters with ur close friends.. today we know more of each other... n questions are answered with actions... then again, everyone will have different feelings towards this... envy? bewilderment? excited? etc.. many many feelings.. n im talking about in general... people do feel in this way... i just hafta say.. keep ur feelings in check.. ha..

ytd was SWO concert... i had a 'date' with xintian.. lols... we were.. late -.- okay, my fault.. sorry that i dont have the habit of arriving early for concerts.. haha.. really.. its either on time, or late, but the concert hvnt start... for SWO, they actually started on time! (or early!) cuz my handphone reads 7.03pm but they alrdy playing the first movement of the bassoon concerto!

aiyah... but well.. managed to catch the rest of it... bassoon concerto abit soft.. but still, jocelyn is pro with her bassoon... the tonguing is clean n fast.. haha.. twain n his eupho... nice piece... but i get a 'sloppy' feeling from his playing.. sorry.. but yea, just my view...

queen was the BEST.. very good cellist, tan wen bin... very good pianist, tan mei hui... v good soloists on all the other instruments.. i can rmr the flute, alto flute.. and not to mention chunbok on the clarinet.. as usual... haha.. there is supposed to be two solo clarinets.. but chunbok just solo-ed it.. LOL.. i was damn touched with the piece... brings back memories of how dhs played it last time... how i played with yingqing on the first stand.. how yujia would worry about her solo... how priscilla played the solo on the alto flute... how joel and aaron and meihui helped us with the solo violin, cello, and piano parts... how we would sing 'love of my life' together... how we really loved the whole queen symphony... listening n playing it is quite a different experience.. n having to playing it prior to listening it is much more meaningful than you listen, then u play...

today... supposedly go for exco meeting.. in the end its just a play session cuz its the usual people who are alrdy quite updated with each other... me, yixiang, xingqi, rachel, sophia... hmm... ya lor... played at arcade at ehub... then went to superdog supposedly to mug... but well... i didnt really mug then... bought a super expensive hotdog.. kena scammed... (tham it!) we spent a super long time in superdog.. got one period the girls went toilet and left us guys there... then they spent a long time talking outside.. lols... funny day.. funny.. haha.. did weird stuff also...

dinner at kfc.. did more weird stuff... drank with a uber long straw... drank with 10 straws at once! played shooting ice! lol... took photos to capture the scandalous times of sophia n xingqi... haha...

shall not continue with the details of what happened next... but yea... we go home lor... took mrt with yixiang n rachel till bedok.. then i took the train back to tampines.. haha...

hah.. okay.. im feeling abit not too well.. physically.. hope i dont fall sick at this moment... abit scared... either h1n1 or malaria.. both are bad news... n dear friends, dont hope for an extension of holidays... be practical and work hard this week! common tests is coming in 6 days... yea.. today has alrdy passed...

so...

how do you explain feelings? unexplainable? only able to understand it?

hmm... but the very first step is to face up to it.. :)

i really want to visit my uncle.. i really want to give a tight hug to my cousin and tell him things will be alright... but will it?

yes, my father sounds so righteous and angry and will go all the way to help my uncle fight... but what im really worried about is how he feels and how my cousin will face it... he is only eight years old..

i dno what to say... haiz...

sad?

scared...

i want to visit them soon...

music is my life!

^^.smile.always.``
sadisticatedz
a-lone
have fun~
my life in dhs...
EXCO, IA, Band...
2Huga and 4Falala...
Volleyball, MS, 5c21~!




PROFILE

limweijie
4th march
height: not tall

tampines primary school
1.5/2.2/3.1/4.1/5.9/6.9

dunman high school
1/2Huga,3Ffervescence/4Falala
dhssb; dhssc
clarinets; internal affairs

dunman high school (senior high)
fiveCtwentyone; econs rep
DRAKONIAN!
dhsshsb; vball; musicsociety; council
freelance publications photographer? haha!

limweijie@hotmail.com

and i was thinking...
photos on flickr
brisbane photos on flickr
friendster


HISTORY

TPS Prefectorial Board `04
.Vice-Head Prefect

DHSSC Comm. and Pub. `06
DHSSC Orientation~
DHS Voyage `06 (Where the journey begins)
.Flag and Identities IC

DHSSC Level Council (Year 1 n 2) `07
DHSSC Orientation~
DHShine `07 (Where stars are born)
.Event In-Charge
DHSSC Youth Day Carnival `07
.Logistics
TPS Alumni `07
.Project Coordinator

DHSSB Committee `08
.Quarter Master
DHSSB Clarinets~!! `08
.Section Leader
DHSSC Internal Affairs `08!!
.Head of Dept
DHSSC Orientation~
DHS Olympics `08 (Together we run the race)
.Mentor
I *Heart* Music Committee `08
DHSSC Youth Day Games `08
.Mentor
Yamaha Electone Festival `08
.D4 (group ensemble) BASS!!
Movie Marathon 2008
.Food In-Charge

Year4 DHSchase `09
.Facilitator (Group 4H2)
Year3 DHSxpedition `09
.Facilitator (Group 3E2)
DHS Senior High `09
.DRAKONIAN!
DHSSH Student Council
.Student Welfare HOD!
DHS Music Society! `09
.the force behind... haha!
DHS Volleyball~!! `09
.Member
DHS SHSB Clarinets `09
.Member
Sembawang Wind Orchestra
.Clarinet player
TAND CIP Proj `09
.Event Manager


READING LIST

books i feel worth reading
"The Introvert Advantage,
How to Thrive in an Extrovert World"
-- Marti Olsen Laney, Psy. D.

"The Tipping Point"
How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
-- Malcolm Gladwell

"Blind Spots"
Why Smart People Do Dumb Things
-- Madeleine L. Van Hecke, PhD

"Blink"
The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
-- Malcolm Gladwell

"The EQ Edge"
Emotional Intelligence and Your Success
-- Steven J. Stein, Ph.D.
-- Howard E. Book, M.D.

"Psychology"
Teach Yourself
-- Dr Nicky Hayes

"Killer's Wedge"
An 87th Precinct Novel
-- Ed McBain

"Fiddlers"
An 87th Precinct Novel
-- Ed McBain

FIRST TIMES

210608 entered YEF finals
040708 done a "freeze"
050708 rode a swaveboard
050708 night biked~!
060708 last 24hrs w/o sleep
070708 a call lasting 2:12:27 (with kang)till 0031hrs
130708 walked frm harborfront to buona vista in 3hr 30mins
130708 a call lasting 1:18:32 (with kang)till 0153hrs
140708 a call lasting 1:11:30 (with loy)till 0023hrs
250708 reached home at 4am in the morning aft LA film
030908 read a book 330pages within a day
040908 completed 2 blogposts on the book, totalling 5263words..!
100908 school exploration at mt sinai campus - LT 1
120908 school exploration at mt sinai campus - underground tunnel
071008 mass convo on handphone with 5 participants - 1hr 20mins
191008 first dragonboating experience
191008 first successful job application~!
221008 5hour songwriting (with english lyrics) finished at 0130!
051108 first day at work... -.- 4.30pm to 11pm...
251108 picked my FIRST LOCK in school LT 2!! (tgt with sxiangs)
161208 longest video project yet COMPLETED (36 mins 57s)
161208 climbed into the LOCKED gym through a broken window! EXTREME (tgt with sxiangs)
120109 3 bowls of dessert as dinner! (with yixiang)
250109 a call lasting 0:43:31 (with yx) till 2230hrs
010209 phone mass convo with WYLL for 2hrs 15mins 40s!
230409 ate 6 doughnuts in a row (tgt with jiezhi!)
230509 attended a 21st birthday party
230509 drank Carlsberg :)
280509 overnight in council room (with yx) hiding from guards.. hah!
080609 cycled about 20km 36km frm ECP to Changi in 2hours! (with jxiong)
110609 visited boonlay, pioneer, jookoon mrt stations... (with IA 0708)
040709 walked from tampines to eunos MRT stn (with ter and liangwei)
040709 played guitar hero at mountbatten CC, third prize
040709 played LAN since 5 years ago... (Primary 6)


LIST OF MY WISHES/TO DO LIST

settle my year 5 class and combi
hopes: 5C21, Ma Ph Ec MEP
got: 5C21, Ma Ph Ec Geog (no regrets!)
get my basics right for volleyball
not be afraid to roll, anytime anywhere
compose songs at my leisure time
find the good voice in me to sing
pick up the guitar again to sing and play
finish up my 1000 piece puzzle
chance to learn playing the drumset
being able to learn the alto saxaphone
get into house committee in year 5?
maybe not.. i dont know...
lolol, i got into SW HOD.. what have i got myself into.. hah
music society to be a merit CCA
great aspiration, not enough dedication..
grow another 10cm within two years (in 2010)
play a clarinet solo with band accompaniment in 2010
music vocal instrumental group - sing n perform!
get back into drawing my little character
draw a series of it..!
hone my skills for sing and play on a keyboard
compose a little song that expresses myself


LIST OF 21 THINGS BEFORE I TURN 21

01 a girlfriend xD
02 a scholarship
03 entry to desired university
04 getting my driving licence
05 bagpack tour in Europe/Egypt/India
06 write a song for my good friends (and sing it for them!)
07 explore every single spot there is in Singapore (on foot!)
08 fulfill a child's wish in Make-A-Wish Foundation (Adopt-A-Wish!)
09 participate in a marathon
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19 save up to 5k in my current bank account
20 getting out of NS safely
21 a job that i will enjoy doing


ENJOYS

music~!
tea: iced/lemon/green
iced green tea latte~!
doing random things...
THINKING... (hmm...)
running... (away from reality?)


HATES

the COLD
the loneliness
the dark


BELIEVES

no one should be left out
do what i say, say what i do
providing a listening ear
to know people personally and not generally
hold on to responsiblity
opening your heart is the key to understanding people
fulfilling people's dreams; conquering people's fears


HOPES

to make a difference
to create my own music
to be confident and inspire others
to let my voice be heard...
i mumble... which is bad


WANTS

a cap~
a jacket..!
camera pouch
acoustic guitar
clarinet of my own
i dont want alr...
creative zen player
i got a ipod now!
electone stagea
i stopped learning electone, what use now?
camera of my own
new camera... (lost mine..)
will be careful this time...
own a laptop (pref MACbook)
nope... not macbook.. haha..
another rubix cube
to spearhead again a project/event
music society is in the progress!
cnt believe i put this under my hopes.. now i dread it..